(A friendly lion, or the friendliest lion ever?)Because of the rain, I think, the place was nearly deserted, although it was clearly set up for massive crowds. The lights reflected beautifully on the wet pavement.
Afterward, we walked along through a familiar neighborhood and stopped at a ramen joint for Luke to have dinner. I was starving, despite having eaten egg white, apple, etc, so ordered edamame without salt as evening veg. Hope it's not a problem to count soybeans as veg for one night. They'd clearly been cooked in a salty broth, but if I just delicately pulled the beans out with my teeth, they didn't taste salty at all. I also had one teeny sip of the pork bone soup base. It was divine--bacon-y.
I don't feel bad about having the small taste, but rather concerned. Believe it or not, this is the second time in the whole project that I've allowed myself to have "just a taste" of anything, and the slip in self-control is worrying. Could it be the beginning of a slippery slope? But there was no further consumption, or even an urge to eat more, so perhaps it's nothing to worry about. Indulgence planned for Thursday, which is a holiday here. Stay tuned. Until then, peacock lanterns, for your amusement.
(This is so not Hong Kong - there were few enough people around that it was possible to wait for them all to wander out of my shot.)
You asked on Haley's blog how I'm doing with post-PCP world. I had a rough couple of weeks (which included a vacation trip to NYC) where I would get up with the best of intentions, and then be kind of haphazard throughout the day. Over and over, though, I saw myself making better choices than I would have before PCP. Not eating PCP-perfect, but still doing things like veggies for breakfast, yogurt & egg white for snacks, drinking much less alcohol from before.
ReplyDeleteSugar is my big vice, and I'll be honest and say I've had some trouble with keeping that under control. I think I'm going to have to institute some official policy on sugar, like only allowing it on weekends or something like that.
As far as exercise, it's been pretty good too. I couldn't keep up with everything while on vacation, but I've been keeping it steady since then. And funny enough, it's just like before: heavy avoidance and reluctance, until I finally start swinging the rope and then I'm good. Again with the workouts, I had to institute a weekly program for myself -- just doing "what I feel like doing" was not working for me. Maybe it will someday, but not now.
I don't feel like I'm a different person or that my bad habits have all been magically washed away. The big difference, and I think you can already see this in yourself, is that I have so much more knowledge and understanding of how things work, and I know what I'm capable of doing. Nobody can maintain a giant PCP-sized effort every day for the rest of their lives, but I'm finding that I don't need to put in that kind of effort anymore -- better choices come more naturally because I know what will happen when I do certain things. It's just logical.
I wouldn't worry too much about that little taste of soup. I remember the first time I had a bite of something not PCP-sanctioned, and I thought, oh I've ruined everything. But I didn't. And you didn't. And you won't. :)
Oh Kim, I love all the beautiful lights! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tara, a taste is a taste. As long as its on your terms and you're not letting your emotions control your decisions, you'll be fine, I think.
Kim -- it's interesting you think you'll fall off the band wagon if you have "just a taste". It's a mental game for all of us and for me the "forbidden" aspect is worse than the "I've thrown it all to waste" thought process. So I allow myself a bite if I really want one and that's been enough so far. What I know I CAN'T do (which you've shown amazing fortitude for!!) is sit at a restaurant with all the smells and the yumms & mmms. Wow -- you certainly are committed!!
ReplyDeleteNice lights!
Tara--It's so good to hear a report from you, and to hear that it's going pretty well despite the challenges. No blame for slipping a little in NY; my downfall is fatty meat products, but everything there is abundant and delicious and rationalizeable (Oh, but I can't really get home cured salami at home!).
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you read any Michael Pollan after that initial essay Patrick assigned at the beginning of the project, but he did this interesting teeny book where he collected commonsense rules that helped people eat food, not too much, mostly plants. The one that really resonated for me was: have treats when you want them, but you have to make them yourself. Maybe that would help you with sweets? He was talking about sweets, and also labor-intensive stuff like french fries and fried chicken. If you have to make it yourself, there's no way you're doing it too often.
Jenny--It's awesome to see you around in the comments, too. I really miss having you guys blogging the way ahead.
Everyone--All right, I'll stop worrying about the taste and try to be serene. I still have so much control. This will continue to work.
I admire your self-control sistah! I would never have stopped at just a taste. you've got that slippery slope nailed.
ReplyDeleteooh interesting mantra, make treats yourself. i bet that would stop me. :P
kim, amazing photos!
ReplyDeletei wouldn't worry about a taste here or there either - esp. if you stop after a taste. you're giving into temptation for a brief moment, but you're not binging. just be mindful, like you're already doing!
when i was on fire island, i was more prone to having a few tastes here or there - lots more temptations surrounding me, plus i was kinda stressed. but i was aware why i was doing it and didn't let it go past just a taste. since we've been home, those urges to taste non-PCP foods have disappeared.