Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Day Sixty: Two Midnights Gone!

Hey, everyone! I'm over my sulk, although it took me a good long time. Perhaps it helped that the pants I wore to work today were suddenly pretty darned loose. Will put up new pics this weekend so you guys can see the continued shrinkage. I'm now at the place where I wish I'd started. It seems unlikely that only 30 more days can make a dramatic enough difference for me to pop out with amazing shoulders/back like Grace, or arms like Sarah, but I'll work at it and see if my body can surprise me.

Naty was talking about a little bit of loosening up in her diet, and I've engaged in some these past few days, too, although in a typical teeny, control-freak sort of way. On Monday, I had a book club meeting, and the host was so proud of herself for making no-fat, no-salt pico de gallo just for me that I had to have some. So I had a single corn tortilla with some salsa around my normal dinner time, and ended up having dinner around the normal evening veg time, and called that a night.

On Tuesday night, Luke and I made Thai beef salad. This is mostly PCP-compliant, except for the tbsp of sugar that goes into the sauce. But I rationalized it away as a small part of a much larger and more complex flavor (loads of lime juice, some Thai chilies, a drop of fish sauce, a huge handful of cilantro). It smelled delicious, but I held off tasting and instead packed my small container for lunch with great anticipation. The guys ate the remaining 90% of the dish right away.

I spent all morning in a state of high excitement, waiting for lunch. Delicious, y'all. The sugar's just there to keep the lime from being overwhelming--can't taste it.

And yet, it's time to get back to being really strict. If there's a little slip every day, even if these slips are so small and so mostly healthy, I don't think my body will learn what I want it to know. At two-thirds finished, I still don't miss sugar. Fruit is really delicious and satisfying. And I can see that cheese and nuts really are garnishes, not key ingredients of most meals. As I said to Naty in the comments somewhere or other, I think of following this diet to the letter as a way of practicing good habits over a long period of time, encoding them into muscle memory and taste memory, making them my defaults.

You heard it here: no more sips of pork bone ramen broth, no more edamame as veg, no more carbs after lunch, no more secret ingredients in my flavorings. At least, not for the next 30 days.

As for the workouts, they're hard, but not hard, if that makes sense. My muscles burn, I sweat like crazy, but it's not difficult to get started or to work hard. At past periods, I've had great workout routines and been committed to them, and this seems to slot into that tradition. And I feel more committed to exercise now than at any time other than my one-year flirtation with running (pre-back injury), because someone else has done the hard part of choosing the exercises with several different goals in mind, and I just have to stop worrying and power through.

5 comments:

  1. Kim, one thing I can tell you for sure is that by the end of the next 30 days, your body WILL INDEED surprise you in some way or another.

    You're doing great - and I hear you on wanting to keep the diet tight. That has always been my M.O. too - I'm not a fall-off-the-wagon type girl, more of a type A girl when it comes to following a prescribed plan. But it's not really about the little tastes - you are obviously very mindful of having them. Like you said, it's much more about the encoding of good habits, day in and day out. Your incredible will-power (in the face of chili crabs, was it?) will serve you well far into the future, as will your ability to make mindful choices. This last month will be great for you - just relax and flow with it. ;)

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  2. Yes, TASTE MEMORY. That's the word I've been looking for. Thanks!

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  3. kim. i promised to comment, so here goes. i just read your day 60 post and took a look at your day 43 photo and you look pretty friggin' awesome. reading your blog posts that range from the whining to the inspired has been really fun and encouraging. remember the conversation we had about me not eating that coffeecake sitting on my desk? i didn't, and since then i've not grabbed a cookie or a donut either. i still indulge way more than you allow yourself, but i always keep your experiences in the back of my mind. i can't wait to see you in march!

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  4. Nice, kim's ready to rock. This last 30 days is going to make all the difference.

    pico de gallo rules

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  5. congrats on the moral fortitude, kim!! (a continually slacking nat)

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